I a troll
by Iwilo
Summary: "... I try to blowupped Sibbermoon..."


Teen for language.

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I a troll. Orphan. I nebber met my paren dat I rememmer. Spen mosly my lifes alone in foress. Teach seff fer kill, eat, surbibe. Em good at kill. Can eat mosly enytin. I kill tings fer enjoymen sahmtime. Put sharpen stick in small aneemal, watchit die. Sahmtime eat, sahmtime dunna eat. It keep my mind occupy.

I hab a speak impediment. I callit mushmout. Mean sameting. Alway I haddit. Ony I dinna speaked until I em adull, so dinna knowit. Brain dunna work good ferspeak. I put worrs togedder. Wron order sahmtime. Syllbulls all wron. Bery harr to unnerstan when I anry. Whole senten become wahn worr. Ged anry alot… frustray. I a bery anry troll.

My own boice may me anry. Soun like nosetalk. Like holdin nose. I sniff alot. Nah sure why. Maybe becau nose sobig.

Mos dat heared me speak tink em speakin' orc lanuage wit troll atsent, but drun. Is nah strange dey tinkit… I gedrun alway. Lot ob flass… Whistey… Bourbons… all kin ob alcohols. Is wahn my faybrit tings. Em maybe harder unnerstan if too drun. If I drun I dunna care. Maybe dass wha I fer alcohols.

Firss lanuage I heared is Common. Lontime go. I dinna speaked it, but learn unnerstan a liddle. Is harr lanuage. Talk fass. Dinna like. Is like Bloodeff lanuage. Conpusin. Den heared troll, ony dinna heared toomuch. Aso bery conpuse. Dinna speaked it until lader. Heared a lot ob Orcitch. Firstime learntalk I talk Orcitch. So Orcitch maybe my firss lanuage. I ony heared Bloodeff talk bery recenly. Pissmeoff. Mosly becau is so fass I canna unnerstan. Make my head hurr. Also dey laughin alot. En dey lookin' at me when dey doit.

I hear Torn lanuage. I canna unnerstan it but I dunna hate it. Is slow, soun kin ob nice. Torns dunna laughat. En laugh dunna soun like sonbitch, mosly. Eben dat dey look like cow aneemal, I dunna wishfer killem too much. I canna stan aneemal, but puddup wit Torn mosly. I tink all Torn is man. Maybe dasswhy dey nah laugh somuch. Wom laugh more den man. Ony Bloodeff all laughs but Bloodeff man is like wom. All Bloodeff wom is huss en all Bloodeff man is sonbitch. Pissmeoff.

I try to blowupped Sibbermoon wahntimes. Gah caugh. Beatmyass. Put arrow to my chess. Hurr bad. Nah wors hurr ob my life, bud I dinna liked it. Almos did die. Escape. Gah healer fer fix it. I gah lot ob gol. Em alway rich. I wishedfer kill all ob da bloodeffs. Was anry, humiliadid. Fellike dog en wannid rebenge becau dey did a bad ting. Was bery drun. Mad. So I set bomb. Bomb failed. Sahmtime I tink is good bomb dinna blowupped Sibbermoon en dat pissmeoff, bud I dunna know why.

I dunna go somuch to Sibbermoon righ now. I dunna wishfer die. ::pause:: … Aye. I wishfer die sahmtime. I dunna wishfer die enough I go to Sibbermoon toomuch. I dunna wishfer die from no gaddamn effs when I bein laughat.

My name is Fybe. Is like da nummer affer foor en afore sick. Bloodeffs gah fybe pingers bud I dunna care. Fybe is da bess fuckin nummer. I made my own name en I nah changin it. Was firs ting I rememmer dat I own. Ismy fuckiname. I likeit. Eben if I hab to count when summun ask me my gaddamn name.

Was wid my mudder until I hab teet. I dunna knowit. She nebber name me. I dunna knowit eeder. One point I makeupped story dat I borned from gian snake. I tellit myseff again en again. I beleeb it now. I dunna beleeb I a troll. I hate trolls. I hate idea ob me bein troll. My tuss is too lon. I too tall. Ears too lon. I tell people I a dragon, or a orc, or a monser. Or snake. All diffren tings. Mosly monser. Nebber aneemal. I canna fuckin stan aneemals.

I hab machine for mouns. I dunna ride aneemal. I hab modercycle. Helicotter. Rocket. I build all ob dese tings wid my calloused hans. I a idiot sabant but I dunna knowit. I use bought, trade, stolened schematits. I illiderit. Crossout worrs to hep wid conpusion. Draw in esstra pitchers sahmtime. Make plan loolike my own. Udder engneer canna unnerstan, canna build ennytin from my plan. Is nah on purpits bud if I knowed it I wou be happy fer it. I call wha I do "tinkerin'" en my skill are amazin. To see me worked is shockin eben if ya dinna knowed I em crazy, mushmout, alcoholit. I make strange noise when I tinkerin. I dunna knowit. Sahmtime udders watchme build tings. I dunna knowit eeder. I canna see ennytin ess around me when I tinkerin.

I make bomb. I blowupped tings nearly ebrydays. Mosly Allians tings bud sahmtime ony tree en rock en dead aneemal. I blowupped wadder. I trowed bomb at sky enden chane my mind runfer mylifes. Was bery drun. Bery stupid idea. Em stupid I knowit. I put bomb on groun enden I runaway en trow bomb at bomb. Amuse me. Ebrytime. I probly shou be dead by now. I a fass runner. Trolls growback tings. I growbacked alot ob tings.

I bery familler to pain.

I bery familler to fear. Anziety.

I nah bery familler to hope. I hab no concep ob acceptins or lub. My bersion ob happy is nah like yer bersion ob happy, bud is real. Is ony diffren.

I dunna smile much. I dunna smile in fron ob anyone. I do cry much. I dunna cry in fron ob anyone. Em bery ugly alway. Em more ugly when cry.

I hab many reality. Allob dem bery real fer Fybe. Can ged bery upsettin. I knowit I hallucinay bud I canna always tell wha ting was hallucinay en wha ting was nah. Sahmtime I tink a ting dat was real was nah real lader.

Many bad tings happen in pass. I dunna speak ob dem. Eben in fake monologue I dunna speak ob dem.

I hab panic attack. I dunna know whadis. I tink em dyin. I fallsleep affer mostime. I hab psychotic episoe. I insomiat. I talkwid myseff. I mosly say, "I ownit. Ismy." Tings liedat. I obsess wid own. I tink I own tings dat I dunna own. Em rich. Hab many gol. Aso hab much blood on han. Ony feeled bad fer wahn murders I did. Was lontime ago. Em goodat murders. Goodat fin tings en fin peoples. I mosly enjoy killin. It make my eye turncolor. I drink blood.

I masturbay priddy offen. Feel guilty.

Em harass wid prostute in cidy. Pissmeoff. Geddin figh sahmtime. Fewtime em follow. Makedem mad. Say badtings at dem. Trow rock if dey follow. Wahntime hit huss in head too harr wid rock. She bleed to deat. I dinna knowit.

I hate clots sahmtime. I wear suspenners when I dunna hab armors. I wear ledder armors. Glubs are good. I dunna like to touch. Touch ennywahn make me feel I ganna die. Pissmeoff. My leass faybrit clots is shirr. I like mypant. If I weared shirr I wish to wear suspenners. I like to do button. Is harr works.

Em bery destriss en graytsful. I moob like cat. Fass as fuck. Runfass. I cou crawl fasser den ya cou run. I nebber takeoff my weap. My daggers like a parr ob me. I bedder wid my dagger den mos are wid dere hans.

When I nerbose in sotchul sishuatchin I turn clumsy. Den I get mean.

I canna look nearly ennywahn in eye.

I look at womahn when dey nah lookat me. I tink I a perbert.

I follow a bloodeff call Lib. She priddy. I afrai she nah real.

If ya dinna knowed it, I nebber saydis ting. Many worrs nah in my bocabulary. Da worr "bocabulary" nah in my bocabulary. I canna know wha ganna happened in my puture bud I nebber ganna saydis ting. I deserb happy, bud I dunna knowit. Maybe I ganna hab happy puture.

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Fyve (Fybe) resides on Moon Guard. Some stories about him YayMyStories that are left off this site for personal reasons. Thank you for reading. Your comments have kept me going.

~ I'wilo


End file.
